Over and over again

I feel like the last 3 or so days have been on repeat-or maybe like groundhog day over and over again. Every morning I step on the scale and I see the SAME number, no changes...really?!?!?! Today I wanted to jump up and down on the scale to see if maybe it was broken and need a jump start...but I didn't. (Also didn't feel like purchasing a new scale this weekend.) I understand though that I've had a stressfull week and I think my body is reacting to it. I also think too that my mind has been focused on other things then how much water I'm drinking. I don't know how to explain it, but I know I'm getting what I need but I'm not going over the top...make sense?

Like my sister in law shared (thank you Erin) I haven't gained any back! So there is always a positive side to everything...well it really all depends on how you look at it.

So last night we went to 91-local resturant here in Ohio...pretty good if your ever in the area. But Makayla wanted to go their for cake (it's a tradition). The FIRST time in 31 years that I haven't eatten cake. The whole let them eat cake thing..totally over rated. It was hard...but I took a step back and realized what that moment was really about, my beautiful daughter. These are the leasons I'm learning and realizing that I will never go back to being addicted to food. I like the new me, I like who I am and I'm excited to see the final result.

Weight loss: 0

Total weight loss: -32 pounds and -18 inches.

Celebration

Well today my little girl is 5! I can hardly believe it and how quickly the last 5 years have gone. I remember...as every mother days, what the day was like when their little one was born. She it my joy and my heart. I'm so thankful that I've been given the opportunity to be her mom. She's amazing.

I'm trying to stay positive because I haven't seen any weight loss for a couple of days. I think, even though I am drinking a lot of water, I need to add more to my daily intake. I don't want to get discouraged...but I want to see some numbers go down. So I'm going to go fill up my water....make it a great day.

Weight loss: 0

Total weight loss: -32 pounds and -18 inches.

Big Ol' ZERO

I feel like I am on a roller coaster....wait I am....it's called life. :) I'll share a side note story. My Junior or Senior year of High school-can't really remember which one. But our youth group decided to take a trip to Kings Island...something fun to do over the summer. For me it was exciting to just go and do "something." Even though I live an hour or so from the best roller coaster park in the country-Cedar Point-ironically I've never been. But anyways, the youth group packs up and we head to Kings Island. I look back and wonder what I was so "excited" about because I'm so afraid of heights and things that don't give you control. Maybe the fact that you can just look over the edge of something and fall...that's how I think. :)

Long story short...we get to Kings Island and the FIRST roller coaster of my life (and last) was the Beast-the oldest wooden ride in the country. Ok-didn't know any better-but even more exciting was that I got to sit in the last car for this very first ride....let's just say that I wasn't thrilled to be their once the ride was over. But I think back on that experience often because our lives are so much a roller coaster and how we handle the experience says so much about the character we have.

This week has been pretty frustrating for me. I don't feel like I've done all that I can to lose more weight. I haven't cheated or stopped-I just haven't mentally been in the game. I'm going through the motions but not thinking about them. This is a big week-my little girl turns 5 tomorrow-5 years old! I can hardly believe that the time has gone so quickly. I find myself this week in a state of remembering...all that we've been through, all that we've accomplished and where we're headed. I am excited to see what each day holds and blessed that I've been given another day to spend it with those that I love and that love me. We're blessed people...let's never take that for granted!

Weight loss: 0

Total Weight loss: -32 pounds and -18 inches.

M.A.D

So at work there are signs hanging around saying "I'm MAD. Are you?" The word on the street is that MAD stands for something other then being upset. So I started to think about what MAD could mean...I came up with Making A Difference. Not sure if that's what they mean by it-but for now I'm going with what I thought.

Are we making a difference in our day to day lives? Are we impacting other peoples lives for good? Are we leaving a legacy for our children or those in our lives that they will be proud of? Are we making a difference that will forever change the course of our lives? All things to think about....

My new weight loss habits are making a difference not only in my life but these are a good example to Makayla~I'm not longer surprised that she picks up on everything....everything. I want to make sure what she's observing and imitating in her life are good positive habits that will make a good impact on her life. She will have her own "challenges" to deal with, but I don't want her to have to deal with the weight one...so now is the time to make a difference. Everyday we're challenged to do so.... So let's make the most of it!

Weight loss: - 1/2 pound

Total Weight Loss: -32 pounds and -18 inches.

Expectations

Isn't that the name of a book we had to read in school...oh wait that was the Great Expectations. Though it's a book, in life we have a lot of expectations, some high, some in the middle and well sometimes we just say we didn't have any expectations. Right now I have very high expectations to loss this weight and be done with it once and for all. My expectations of myself are at an all time high. Some might think they are too high and I'd set myself up for fail...but that's not true, I've already failed myself. I stopped caring and didn't give it a second thought if I was gaining weight...not anymore! Maybe someday I'll write about about my Great Expectation ~ but it will be way funnier. :)

Weight loss: + 1/2 pound

Total Weight loss: -31.5 pounds and -18 inches.

Encouragement is awesome

I want to take a moment to thank all of you who have been encouraging, supportive, loving and motivating for me. The emails and comments I receive, I want you to know I print them out and keep them. I read them often to keep my focus, motivation and help in moving forward. So many times we take for granted what peoples words can do to our spirit. Thank you for being uplifting and encouraging to me. Blessings-

This morning was one of the most powerful church services we've had in a long time. But Psalms 16 rings true in my life-if you get a chance-take a read. Nothing in life is done without Christ. You might be going through the motions but He's always in control. Sometimes we don't understand why certain things happen, why we have certain emotions or thoughts-but in everything give it to HIM and He will take care of you. Lately I really want to take my emotions and put them out on the street-it's been a roller coaster ride. I'm getting rid of part of me that has had so much control over my life and it doesn't want to leave. I look in the mirror and I see me now, beautiful and starting to notice the weight I've lost-but the from other side I look at myself in the mirror and I see who I've been for 15 years-the wall that's been put up to shut those out because I don't want to get hurt. The weight loss is starting to break the wall down that I've relied on so much of my life...now it's time to learn this new part of me. I know I will overcome this and I'm loving the new body/person I am becoming.

Weight loss: -2 pounds

Total Weight loss: -32 pounds and -18 inches.