This is only going to....

Hurt me more than it's going to hurt you..... Have you heard that statement before? Parents use it with their children if they have done something that will need to be punished, guys and ladies use this in relationships when they think it's important for the other person to know how much this break up is going to hurt them, friends use this to share with other friends how much they are sorry for what's about to happen....either way we use this phrase there is a similar meaning behind it. Whatever you’re about to say, do or cause the other person, it's going to hurt YOU more than it's going to hurt them....

How do we know this? How do we know that we are going to hurt more then that person we're "hurting" by our actions, words, non actions..?etc. Know what I'm sayin! I believe too many times we take the liberty to already assume we know how the other person is going to feel, think and react. I do this; I assume that I already know how someone is going to react before something happens...this must stop! We are entitled to our own feelings, thoughts, reactions and no one, no one can determine them.

So the next time you feel the need to use the phrase this is going to hurt me more than it's going to hurt you...stop and actually think, is this a true statement? Here's the other side of it...you might actually feel worse than that person, but you don't know that. Control your thoughts, your feelings and how you react...then pray. :)

Love with open arms, give all of you or none of you and take no ones' feelings lightly!

Weight loss: 0

Total weight loss: -123 pounds

1 Hour

60 minutes, 3600 second..1 hour...the golden hour. Each day we get 1 hour to get a project done, call a friend, love someone, promise something, make a difference, change a life, start something new, make a life changing decision, matter between life and death...or do nothing. And when that hour is done you won't get it back you'll move to the next hour and begin all over again.

Think about it..What do you do with an hour? Catch up on Facebook, will you spend it in the car driving to your next destination, send an email, spend time with your children, spend time with your family, call someone you love, work, play, sleep, eat, meet with someone, do nothing...there is so much that we can do in one hour but are we using it the best possible way? Leave nothing for chance, leave nothing unsaid and no feeling unshared...that hour will soon be done and we'll begin all over again.

In the time that it has taken me to write this post, I have spent 33 minutes talking about what we do in one hour and how we should spend it. I took this time to share how important life is, the precious moments that we're given each day. Don't waste them, love deeply, laugh often and regret nothing! This is a life lesson that I will continue to learn and live daily!

The joy of the journey...so thankful for it! What will you do with this next hour....?


Weight loss: 0

Total weight loss: -123 pounds

What do you see...

When you look in the mirror do you like what you see? Do you like the person who's looking back at you? Not just the physical part but the whole person, inside and out? Do you see that person as someone that people want to know, to love, to be with? Do you see those things? Sometimes when I look at myself in the mirror and I mean really look at who is starring back at me, I have to say that sometimes I don't like the image starring back at me.

The great thing about that mirror...not only does it tell you all the imperfections you might have, but it's changeable. You can change what you see in that mirror, it's not like a picture that is frozen in time. You get to change the person you see. I've enjoyed watching the physical changes I've gone through over the last few months. It's been exciting to see it happen, but in the same sentence I'll be honest and say that the inward person that I see I've really had to work on. For years I pushed that inward person way down and tried to keep it quiet as long as possible. I let the negative side of how I felt about me control my life for long enough. Like I said the great part is that I can/did change it. I think it's great. We can change the person we are if we don't like who we see.

Don't be too critical because if you remember you where made in God’s image and His image is perfect!

Weight loss: 0

Total Weight loss: -123 pounds

I miss you my dear friend...

A year ago today the world lost a pretty funny guy and my dear friend Steve...but heaven gained a warrior. Over this past year there hasn't been a day that I don't think about him or something reminds me of him. I caught myself laughing over the weekend because I was searching for a picture for one of my blogs, looking for a box of chocolate...and the movie Forest Gump came up. That was one of the popular movies when we where growing up and Steve knew every line to the movie. He had such a way to make people laugh and forget about all the "worries" of the moment. Steve had a heart of gold and he was one of the few people that I knew that when he asked how you where doing he really meant it. Steve really wanted to know how you where...the good, the bad and the ugly. Steve took the time to understand any situation and give the best advise...if he didn't know then he'd let you know and just say "we're going to pray."

I miss him; he was my buddy who I called daily to talk about life, what was going on and how to get through the most trivial things at that time. I miss him, he had such a way to make me laugh or send me an email at just the right time. Steve always knew when I just needed a word of encouragement or something to make me laugh...though I'd have to say many times he never knew his timing was perfect.

So much has happened over this past year that I didn't get a chance to share with Steve, but I thought about him often and what he'd say if I could have told him.

I have so much to thank him for...because of the tragedy of today he changed my life for the best. Steve gave me a wake up call, Steve shook me up, he awakened me to realize about my own life and to him I am forever grateful.

Not a day will continue to go by that I don't think about him, the memories that we made, the conversations that we had and the friendship that we shared. I miss you Steve.


Weight loss: 0

Weight loss: -123 pounds

I heart you..

I've never been a big fan of Valentines Day. Even when I was young it wasn't fun for me. Then in high school I started working for Hallmark and I watched people throw away their money to tell someone that they loved them. Here's my thought, why do you need a day on a calendar to go out of your way to tell someone you love them? Shouldn't we be doing that 365 days out of the year? Just a thought?!?!

The heart...what a fasinating muscle that we have. And I'm so thankful that mine beats daily....no matter what I'm going through, good times, bad times, uncertain times my heart keeps a beat. So thankful for that! My heart is heavy today...will be most of this week. A year ago today was the last time that I'd hear from my dear friend Steve. He wished me a Happy Valentines Day and it was great to just talk with him for one last time, though I had no idea that it would be our last conversation together. Steve's heart gave out, it stopped beating.

We do all that we can to keep our hearts protected, healthy and beating...sometimes it's just to tired to go on. I miss him everyday. But I am thankful that he blessed my life. I'll talk more about it tomorrow.

Weight loss: +4 pounds...oh yeah?!?!?!

Weight loss: -123 pounds

My beautiful Grandma..

is in the hospital. She's 93 years old and she's such a trooper. She's a fighter and I have so many things to learn from her. My grandma goes through so much but out of all of it she fights and comes out of it a better person. I am praying right now that she will fight through this time as well.

On the drive to church this morning I had a lot time to think about stress and sadness. I was trying to categorize in my head how everyone handles stress differently. Some people want to eat a lot and some people don't want to eat anything. Some people want to sleep 24 hours a day and others can't sleep at all. Some people have anxiety attacks, some get depressed, some try to numb out. But it is different for each of us. We decided that the challenge is to not let your stress behavior win. We decided that we have to fight for normalcy--normal sleep, normal eating, normal hours, and normal routine. But that can be so tough! It's something that I struggle with daily. My prayer is that through this stress that our family is going through that we will not let the stress behaviors win.

My grandma is strength, my grandma is love and my grandma is beautiful.

Weight loss: 0

Total Weight loss: -127 pounds

**This picture was taken last May, a month into starting my weight loss.