One more day

There is some uncertainty right now going on in my life. I was reminded from an email my mom sent me yesterday that nothing, not our plan, what we think is going to be...it's never the same as God's plan. We need to not hold onto our plan so tightly because we are only frustrated, disappointed and upset when it doesn't work out. Why doesn't it work out...it's not our plan, it's God's plan. I have been reminded of that so much this week that I feel like my focus is now to have peace and rest in knowing that God's always in control, no matter what. It's God's plan, not mine.

I feel like I've been a yo yo with my eating this week. When I have uncertainty in my life I don't eat, or eat enough. I haven't really been eating for the last 2-3 days-stress, frustration, unknown-it gets to me. So when I've stepped on the scale this week I feel like a yo yo. It's not that I've gained anything, but the ounce part is going crazy. :) But also during this time I find myself looking to Him for the answers-I need to do that all the time, even in good times. It's like a marriage, for better or for worse-you don't just come to your mate when things are bad. What fun is that? You walk with your mate in good times AND in bad...it's a two part deal.

I hope to regain my focus this weekend, rest, relax and realize that this journey is never about me-but it's about what God' had planned for me. I will embrace it, love it and know that He'll never give me, put me through or allow me to struggle if He didn't think I couldn't handle it. These times will make us stronger not only as a person, but brings us closer to Him. Enjoy the journey my friends.

Weight loss: -1 pound

Total Weight loss: -44 pounds and -23 inches.

Stress...what's that

This won't be a long blog at all today-actually there is a lot going on at the moment, so I will need to update at later.

But here are the numbers...

Weight Loss: 0

Total Weight Loss: -43 pounds and -23 inches.

Taking it one day at a time.

I have a lot of things running through my mind this morning. I'm not really sure how to process them all-but here we go. :)

I am a creature of routine...like it or not, it's just my life. I drive the same way to work each day, sit at my desk all day long, eat the same foods daily, put my clothes in a certain place...everything is a routine...but I am finding that my routines are boring! I am starting to switch up my routine to work in the mornings...I'm opening up to different foods. I am finding that my body is getting use to what I'm doing and does this yo yo loosing streak. I need to get out of this habit and do things to switch it up. I don't want to get bored with it because that's when I start to stray away from what I need to be doing...make sense? So that's the first part of what I need to change...

The second part of my thoughts this morning are about the dreams I've been having lately. Dreams can really open up a world of ideas and thoughts..sometimes it's good, sometimes it scared the you know what out of you. But lately the dreams I'm having are me...but I would have no idea it's me because I don't recognize myself. I'm skinner and I have a different confidence. I will say that going through this process my confidence levels have changed-some for the good, some not so much. I like having these dreams because it helps me get to the final step...what all this hard work is all about-it's very exciting and I'm looking forward to making the dream a reality.

Weight loss: 0

Total Weight loss: -43 pounds and -23 inches.

Let's get personal

I'm really in disbelief that I've lost 4 pounds total in 3 days. I'm only 2 pounds away from losing 45 pounds! I excited. I'm so on track for my goal to lose 50 pounds by August 14th-my cousins wedding, but it looks like I'll exceed that....don't hear me complaining. :)

Ok, well I'm going to get pretty honest for a moment...not that I haven't been during this whole process-but this is just going to get a little more personal. Yes, I think I might of just scared my mother-she has no idea what I'm about to talk about. :) Love you Mom....

Since losing 43 pounds my body has been shrinking...that's great, that's exciting! But there is a down side to this...one that I feel can be pretty disheartening and really mess with someones mind. But because of all the weight that is going away, the skin doesn't go with it. So when I see myself in the mirror, I still see the overweight me. I really want to get rid of all that-and I will when I'm done losing 146 pounds. But right now, it's a struggle to see myself for what's going on right now. I see my arms, which has been a source of insecurity for me for years, and they just hang...it's not attractive and it's actually something I just want to keep covered till I can get it the "extra" removed. I keep telling myself that it's not how it use to be, I don't look anything like I had 11 weeks ago and that this is only going to get better.

Each day is a stepping stone in the right direction, I won't let the fact that my arms wave back to me when I wave stop me from being healthier, happier and enjoy this life because I know that one day...sooner then later, they won't have anything to wave back with. :)

Weight loss: -1 pound

Total weight loss: -43 pounds and -23 inches.

Can it be?

This morning I was rushing around, I hadn't planned very well last night regarding getting anything ready for work. I jumped on the scales and couldn't believe my eyes...I have lost another 2 pounds. I weighed myself 5 times this morning to make sure it was right. :) But I am feeling really good today and very thankful that things are starting to work again. I'm not sure what happened last week, maybe stress, maybe over thinking things...but I am glad to finally be dropping more numbers. :)

Weight loss: -2 pounds

Total Weight loss: -42 pounds and -23 inches.

This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it.

The title to this blog is one of my favorite hymns we use to sign when I was growing up. If you where in a car of people, you'd do the round robin...that was always fun. :) Well today is a good day. I stepped on the scales and found that I had lost the two pounds I needed to reach 40 pounds. I actually cried....40 pounds-I never thought that I'd see that number or reach that point. I don't know, call it crazy-but hitting 40 means more to me then 25 and 30. 40 means that I am on the path of to never return to who I once was. I continue to put major distance from that part of my life. The more that this number grows, the more that I lose, the farther I become from that part of my life and it feels great.

This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it!

Weight loss: -2

Total weight loss: -40 pounds and -23 inches * my mom is out of town for 10 days and she's the one that helps me measure my inches...so this number will be out of whack for at least the next 10 days.