Well my dear friends it's been a few weeks since I've sat down to write anything. But I have been thinking a lot......and a lot I mean by 24/7. There isn't a moment that my mind isn't going, thinking of things in the past, the present and what the future holds. Sometimes I find myself thinking back to certain moments that where defining moments of my life. I also have been looking towards the future....knowing that no matter what happens I'm ready, my daughter is ready, my family is ready....but my heart is still heavy.
A few days ago I was reading a blog and the person writing it was making reference to single mothers-I caught myself for a second feeling sorry for them and then it hit me I was one of them. I don't see myself in that "category"...but I am. She listed it like this....
There are women whose husbands have died.
There are women whose husbands have left.
There are women who don't know the father.
There are women who asked him to leave.
There are women who are safer on their own with their children.
There are women who never married, who chose from the start to do it alone.
There are women who are married, he is present, and yet she parents all alone.
Then she went on to say that no matter what the case might be they are still mom's...they are still the ones that walk around this world with their hearts on the outside and they some how get a scarlet letter assigned to them because of one of the above situations in life. No matter what happens....it shouldn't be that way. I found myself having a "moment" this morning. I was talking to my mom about life, about things that have been happening, how people have viewed me, my situation and people don't always understand a situation before they decided that you need to hear their opinion...and lately this life, this world, this place I'm in EVERYONE has an opinion about my life, how I should live it, why things happened the way they did and honestly most of the time I'd like to just walk away from them and say you just don't get it.
I don't carry the scarlet letter....I won't. I won't allow this world to label me. God made me who I am and I am forever thankful for that....I am thankful for all the lessons, all the dark moments, all the unknowns....but most importantly I am thankful for the joy, the blessings and the peace that had come from it all.
No matter what this life tries to "label" you....don't let them. We are all better then a label.
