A little overwhelmed.....or a lot...

Nothing like new directions and changes to bring on raw emotion. It has been a long time since I've felt this way...and I can't remember why. But this afternoon was another reminder on how strong I am not. Yes you read that right, I'm not strong, I'm weak and most of the time I bottle all of it up to put on a front that I have everything together. But today this new opportunity with my career really opened up the flood gates of raw emotion on how I'm not strong. I don't know this....it's been a good 4 years since I've been in this new industry and it feels very weird....

4 years ago life was completely different and the times have totally changed. I believe in myself because I know and trust that GOD never gives us more then we can't handle. The great part about that statement is that HE is the one that's handling it. It's all touched His hands first and then He passes it onto us because He knows that there is a lesson in it that we need to learn, that we need to rely on Him once again. And today, I am putting it all in His hands. There are going to be challenges, changes, growing pains, valleys but the great part about that is that I'll learn something new about me, I'll become stronger, I'll climb to the top and I'll embrace all that's been placed before me. But I won't get their alone, and I can't/won't do it alone. It was such a surreal moment that I felt like parts of today I relived 4 years ago. I could close my eyes and see things that happened in the past....but then I remember that it's in the past for a reason. To learn from, to grow from, to realize the person you needed to become. I stepped away and realized how much I've grown from that place 4 years ago and I now have the opportunity to write a new chapter with a much better outcome.

There are a lot of unknowns but what I do know is that this is a test, this will only make me a better person. This will only help me step outside the comfort zone that I've spent so much time in....it will bring me closer to the plans HE has for me....pretty cool.

Thank you heavenly father for never giving up on me.....thank you for wrapping your arms around me and reminding me that no matter what YOU stand beside, in front and behind me....YOU will guide my path.....

February 14th....it's the day that most people celebrate, buy the cards, the flowers, the candy...it's a fantastic holiday for Hallmark. I think I remember reading some where that this is the highest grossing holiday for them. I believe it because people feel like it's their get out of jail free card. If I get all these things on this day, the other 364 days are OK if I just "get by". I think it's good to celebrate with your kids, but every day should be Valentines Day.

We take so much for granted, life really. We think that we'll live forever, that moments can't define us, that we will see another day. When really none of us are safe from no more tomorrow's. So why not celebrate and tell those you love, that you love them every day. No matter what. No matter how busy we get, how involved we become, we can't take the moments for granted.

Over the years I've let my heart lead and many times it's not gone the way that I've wanted, ended in hurt and brokenness. But what I've learned is that I am stronger and I'm understanding. Odd combination of words really...strong but understanding...I don't give my heart out as much any more but that's OK, it's life. I am learning to embrace the moments, each of them daily....it's pretty amazing.

Enjoy this day, but celebrate it each day!