Food...ugh!

It's been 7 months since I've started this weight program and there really isn't a day that goes by that I'm not learning something about my body and how I react to food since I've made the switch. I am realizing that I can't just eat what I use to eat or the amounts of it. Good thing though! Last night I had lasagna and I love it, always have...but man it wasn't liking me anymore. I don't like the feeling I have when I eat "heavy" foods and I am starting to wonder early on in my weight gain did I ever feel the same way or did I just ignore it because I wanted it more then the outcome...make sense? But now, I realize that sometimes it's just not worth the feeling or feeling miserable to just eat something. A whole new outlook and a whole need approach to eating! Good times!


Yesterday I was out cold calling for my job. (in the rain..always a good time) But I took a break during the lunch hour to catch up on email and to just take a rest. I usually go to a Panera Bread because you can use their Wi-Fi. So like I normally do, I found a table in the corner and set up my computer. I hadn't really been there more then 5 minutes and this little lady that worked there came over to my table with a cute little smile and said "Excuse me, would you like for me to bring you something to eat or drink?" That was a first because normally you just order on your own...I glanced over to the large selection of pastries they had out and my stomach hurt, I also wasn't interested in eating lunch at that moment. So I said, I'd like to get an Ice Tea and I'll figure out if I want to eat later. She was sweet and did just that. When she brought my Ice Tea over she said to me "If you want a pastry, just let me know, they are to die for..." And at that moment, in my mind I thought to myself I don't want to die for food...and just smiled to myself. I thanked her for her kindness. I realized sitting there that something had changed in my, I no longer wanted to eat my way though life, I no longer wanted to try every sweet item in that case. The opposite has happened. I am living life without living for food. And all I want to say to that is...ABOUT TIME!

Weight loss: 0

Total Weight loss: -125 pounds.

A sign of the times

Everyday we are given signs...signs to turn here, don't turn here, push this button, pick this up, etc...But there is one sign that I have a daily reminder. It sits on my desk and has traveled with me from career to career for the last 11 years. It's worn, it's old, it's got smudges on it...but no matter how beat up it gets, it still means the same thing it did to me 11 years ago. 11 years ago I heard someone say that no matter how bad things might get or how discouraged one might be, look up. Look up, no matter what. Well I wrote on a index card the two words..Look Up!! And it's a constant reminder to me that no matter what I might be facing I need to look up. God's in control and that's what matters. When I sometimes forget that He's in control, it's a reminder that I just need to look up and He's there. Taking care of it all....what a great promise.

Make this a better day then yesterday!

Weight loss: -1 pounds

Total Weight loss: -125 pounds.

Slow down...pull over

Yes I'm pretty frustrated with myself because I pulled a pretty stupid move. It's being fixed as we speak but I have to hold my breath for the next 24 hours and HOPE that all turns out ok. If not....it won't be a good next week and a 1/2. Just a contiuned reminder that we need to slow down and really understand what we're doing. I was in a rush yesterday, didn't read though everything to make sure I was where I needed to be and a mistake happened. I am thankful though for understanding people and the willingness to help us out when we're idiots. So the lesson, slow down and read!

Weight loss: +1 pound

Total Weight loss: -124 pounds.

The roller coaster of life

Yesterday was 6 weeks till the end of year. I have to say even though there have been parts of this year that have been great, I will be glad to put this one behind me and see what 2011 brings. It's been a year of losing friendships, disappointments and frustration. But there have been good things from this year, losing weight, watching Makayla become a great little girl and challenges for the better. I hope that 2011 will bring good things to many and that it can be a year of positives....here's to hope. :)

Weight loss: 0

Total Weight loss: -125 pounds.

I don't know this person anymore

Last week a friend of mine tagged me in a photo on Facebook that was taken in March of this year. I have to say two things went through my mind when I saw this picture...ok actually 3, the first was WHO IS THIS?, the second was WOW I don't even know her anymore! and the third was embarrassment and shame....how could I of ever let myself get this way? Why did I not realize it? Why did it take me this long to get a grip on my life? Why, Why, Why...but I realized it wasn't why anymore...I have done something about it, I have gotten a grip on my life...for good.

I left the picture up because for me it's a reminder of who I never want to see again. I don't want that person in my life anymore, she stayed to long. But it was also a big encouragement that I have come so far and that I am making a difference in my life for good. Finally! I am only 32 pounds away from my goal. Seems easy in some ways and in others it seems like it's just the same feeling when I started...will I ever get there. 32 is to get my to 'my' goal weight but that doesn't mean I will stop losing weight. 32 will put me in the area that I need to be in. At that point then maintenance and maintaining will begin. Then begins the next step of my journey...the part I'm most excited about, but nervous too. I'm so ready to be where I need to be and see the new me...I can't stand it. :)

Every wrong turn I've made I am correcting in some way...not perfect but I am putting the past in the past and moving forward. So exciting!

Weight loss: 0

Total weight loss: -125 pounds.