Thank goodness for Friday's

This week couldn't come to an end fast enough. It felt like it drug on forever! I am tired, but I think it's more like I am trying to regain the focus and re charge my internal battery. :) (I guess that's the easiest way to put it) Each day has proven itself to be a lesson in my journey. I did break down this morning and stopped at Starbucks, I mean...I'm 2 pounds away from losing 80 pounds, one starbucks isn't going to make me gain 78 of it back. But the weird thing about it, I didn't enjoy it at all...honestly I feel like my stomach is on fire. So that can't be a good thing. :(

Here is to new things and learning to love ourselves even when we look in the mirror and realize we have a lot of flaws that need fixed.

Make it the best day yet!

Weight loss: 0

Total Weight loss: -78 pounds.

Ah frustrated with myself

So I'm pretty frustrated with myself today. Though the last two weeks have been a roller coaster and I haven't cheated.....I haven't really focused on my weight loss. That is frustrating to me because I need to get back into it, I don't want to lose this focus and then spend the next 3-4 weeks getting back into the game. Stress is the worst and it has been in my life to long. SO that being said, I am doing the 3 day re start next weekend. Why next weekend, I want to be able to be at home when I do, I can focus on it better and I don't have the daily distractions to get in my way. I will continue to stick to what I know is right till then, but I'm frustrated with me at the moment.......

Weight loss: 0

Total Weight loss: -78 pounds.

Pictures

I need to upload new pictures of myself. I will do that this weekend for sure, well once I figure how to get them from my phone to this blog post. :) But I will.

It's been another busy day, trying to stay focused. I still don't feel great, but I know that I am getting there. I am excited to meet a dear friend of mine for dinner tonight. It's always to catch up. She and I grew up in the same neighborhood together and I use to jump off her big rock in her front yard. HA. Good memories.

Other then that, things are moving along. Can't complain. Hope your making it a great day.

Weight loss: 0

Total Weight loss: -78 pounds.

Busy Busy

It's been a very busy day to say the least. I haven't had a chance to sit down for more then 5 minutes. So with the 5 minutes that I do have, I'll update quickly.

I am starting to eat the right foods all day long again. I feel like I have some what of an appatite back, but it's definatley not like it was 2 weeks ago. I am staying focused on the positive things that are currently in my life. So one step at a time and I will get to where I need to be.

Weight loss: 0

Total weight loss: -78 pounds.

Eat, Pray, Love

Well it's time for confession. Since last Monday I haven't followed my eating/diet plan as I should have. Last week was full up an emotional up and down roller coaster as well as not feeling well. Needless to say I didn't drink the water I needed, nor did I eat what I should of. I didn't cheat, I didn't eat things that I shouldn't of, just not enough of it. I also didn't gain during this past week, I did continue to lose, but I can tell my body is worn out. Emotional, mentally, physically worn out. I feel like the week ahead of me will be one that I'll need to really do some repair and rest for myself. Though it has been a rough one, I still am positive and like the changes (in my body) that I see. I found a picture of myself from Easter, this would of been a few months before I started the weight program, and this picture will be my inspiration to never return to that stage in my life again. It does hurt my heart because I look at that picture and see a world of hurt and pain, I don't know that person anymore.

Because last week was so up and down, I really needed some positive things, reassuring things to happen and they did. Saturday I went to see the movie Eat, Pray, Love. For those that have not seen it, I recommend it. There are parts of the movie that I don't agree with, the actress form of mediation, but I understand it. Have you ever had a movie in your life that you've watched and it's like having your life unfold before your eyes? That happened to me, here's the base of the movie....(if you don't want to know, stop reading and go to the next paragraph) A successful business woman was married and the marriage fell apart, ending in divorce. Though she never really forgave herself she went right into an unhealthy relationship with someone who was toxic. Feeling unfulfilled and empty she decides to re embrace her life again. She takes the next year to travel to Italy, India and Baillie. There she will learn to Eat, Pray and Love again. In Italy she re learns what it is to love food and to embrace how people interact with each other. India she finds the chance to forgive herself of the past and the hurt that is in her life. She goes through her prayer and understanding more of who she is. Her last journey to Baillie, this is where she will learn to love again. Though I feel like I have re kindled the eating part of my life, to enjoy the good for you food around me and I am praying, to take time to understand my life again, to not miss anything. But the last stage, love.....that I haven't walked into, nor given up on. I don't know if I will find that again, but I do know that I have a new appreciation for who I am and I love that.

The second part to my reasurance was yesterday's church service. The sermon for the next 3 weeks will be centered around why we are a nation, a world of narcissism. We are a selfish world. Why do we think it's always about "me". I was so glad that I could hear this message yesterday. For myself, no one else, it was a chance to exam my own life and how I deal with this......

Overall, this has been a good thing to re exam my own life, where I'm headed and know that I will have those ups and downs. Things won't always be the way I think they need to be, but I am working towards balance, acceptance and understanding in my life. Not being afraid of change, embracing what is ahead of me and knowing that I am not on this journey alone.

Thank you for letting me unload this morning......

Weight loss: -2 pounds

Total Weight loss: -78 pounds.