The Journey

"And if, upon arrival, you find that your destination is not exactly as you had dreamed, do not be disappointed. Think of all you would have missed but for the journey there, and know that the true worth of your travels lies not in where you come to be at the journey's end, but in who you come to be along the way." ~ Linda Staten

I came across that quote years ago and found that looking back on my journey for just a brief moment...I feel that if I stay there to long my heart begins to hurt and it's all down hill from there...but when I take a moment to look back on my journey I am thankful...I am thankful for the places I had been, the lessons that I had learned (and continue to learn) and I am thankful for the moments that brought me to this place today. Who I have become at the age of 32....if you would of asked me at 17 I would of been in shock and told you that my life would of turned out completely differnt...why because I thought I knew what I needed. But in all actuallity it wasn't about me, it's never been about me...it's been about living my life for the glory of His name.

This weekend I did some "cleaning" out. I cleaned out files, old papers, useless stuff and people out of my life. Yes you read the last part correctly. I'm done looking back on the past and wondering what if....guess what, we can't change the past so it's time that I stop dwelling in it. I have today and that's all that I've been given, this moment. It's been interesting to go through the stuff I kept...I figured at that time it would be important...funny how we hold onto things hoping that it will mean something down the road.

I came across a book that I must of purchased when I first moved back home. I flipped through the pages like I was looking to purchase it all over again and inside one of the pages was a folded piece of paper. I unfolded it like I was hoping that the purpose of my life would be found in this...as I began to read it my heart began to hurt...it was a note that I had written to myself the night before I moved home, into a new life, a new beginning and a new journey of unknowns. The pain was so deep and my heart was so heavy that night, I remember what I was wearing, where I was sitting and how dark the night seemed to me. So many unknows and what if's. I remember that a night like that would soon become many nights like that for a few years..My breath seemed heavy and my memories of that night became all to clear again and I began to cry....but this time there where not tears of sadness or heart ache. They where tears of relief and joy....because this journey that I was so unsure of 5 1/2 years ago has of course had it's ups and downs but I am forever thankful for who I've become, who I've learned to become once again. Behind this note was this quote "Sorrow looks back, worry looks around but faith looks up." ~Ralph Waldoo Emerson....

I've had many journey's in life but one path...I am in the midst of another journey and I am excited to see the end and to pick up a new journey. I belive that I am stronger now then I've been in a long time, though some days are harder to see that then others. My heart is tired of being lonely but I do not dwell in those feelings anymore because I've been given a brand new day with brand new moments and I will be thankful.

"I know GOD won't give me anything I can't handle, I just wish He didn't trust me so much." ~ Mother Teresa.

Weight loss: 0

Total weight loss: -127 pounds