No complaining...

So the last thing I ever wanted this to be was a complaint blog....so it's not, but I just have to say that getting up at 5:30 for the last 3 mornings is really starting to take a toll on my mind, body and energy! I seem to fall asleep fine but then I can't stay asleep...I think it has to do with the fact my mind won't shut off and I can't begin to get it all cleared out.

SO, today I begin some pre training for this new journey. I am hoping that I am wake enough to stay focused (those who know me, know that's going to be a challenge) and that I can walk away with better insite as to what this new path will be like. Because I haven't slept well, I don't eat...at all. So something has to change fast because my body can't handle this. Crazy enough the not eating hasn't allowed me to lose any weight...amazing....not shocked, it's my body's way of telling me to get things in order.

OK, have a fantastic day and I look forward to sharing my news tomorrow.

Weight loss: 0

Total Weight loss: -110 pounds.

The fork in the road.

Well I met the fork in the road yesterday. (HAHA that sounds so funny, sorry) But anyways I met it. There is probably a handful of times in my life that I've been at the fork and really uncertain as to what direction I should head. Sometimes it seemed so easy and other times I would stress over it for weeks. I remember the day that I decided to take my own life by the collar and do something about my weight. Months and even years before that point I had been at a crossroads and I would chose the road that was easy...not to change. That's how I got through things, I wouldn't change anything because I was afraid of what I might have to do. Well let me tell you something, I think it was harder to not do something then it has been to do something. So my advice, break out of the comfort zone and step up, take things by the handle and go with it. You'll be surprised at how things (for the better) will turn out.

So..this decision I have to make, well I've made it. I believe that I will head down the unknown path, take myself out of the box and go with it. I can't share right now what it is, but I will Friday. Thank you to all of you for your support, encouragement and most importantly prayers! Get ready..the new journey will begin shortly :)


Weight loss: 0

Total Weight loss: -110 pounds.

Every so many....

Ever so often we find ourselves at a cross roads. Wondering which path looks better to take. One might be full of flowers, green grass and the sun is shinning. The other might be dark, un managed and scary. Ironically though I have realized that the path that looks great, beautiful and well put together isn't always the right one. It's sometimes the one that leads to more problems, hurt, emptiness and wishing that you would of re thought your decision. Well today I stand at those cross roads. One looks great, green and amazing. Seems like a lot of hope and good things to come...the other is dark, unknown and down right scary....BUT I will make a decision....it won't be easy and that's ok because we where never promised life would be easy. I do wish for a neon flashing light that would point to which one I should take. But I am confident that whatever I chose will in some way be the right thing...

Changes are happening in my life faster then I could even imagine, but I'm ok with it, I've come this far...I'm ready to move forward. I haven't slept well in the last few days, but I know it's because of this day...I've given it to GOD, prayed about it and knowing that at the end of today I'll have an answer. So here we go.....

Weight loss: 0

Total weight loss: -110 pounds.

A new chapter

110 pounds...I have to say it has a nice ring to it. I really like the way I am starting to look and feel. I also am starting to realize that my body doesn't like the things I once did. I have noticed over the last few weeks if I have something that's got sugar or fat in it, my stomach goes on a revolt. So I am starting to understand what I can't have anymore, it might taste good for a moment but feeling or getting sick afterwards isn't fun at all. But it's the sacrifice we make to make ourselves better. I mean I'd chose this life and how I feel now over any sugar foods or fried stuff. Not for me anymore. I'm shooting for another 50 pounds to put me at my goal weight, that will put me right there, that's not to say I won't go for another 10 or so. But I'm ready to see what I look like again...though that's an empty statement because I don't remember what I use to look like at the weight I'll be. So..this will be new again and I guess I'll just have to re introduce myself to myself again. HA!

Make it an unbelievable day!

Weight loss: -2 pounds

Total Weight loss: -110 pounds

Classic

So being wide awake at 4:45 am has it's advantages......ok it really doesn't. HA. I laid in bed this morning thinking about everything I don't need to be thinking about. The quiet times this morning allowed me the chance to reflect and regain my focus.

I'm going through another transformation. This time it's inward that I'm changing. The outward appearance and how I'm feeling is doing well. I feel great and look good, I like seeing less of myself. I look forward to seeing even less of what I am now. I was reading an article yesterday about foods, calories and all goes into things...sure makes you think twice before you pick up that Twix or get a milkshake. Just crazy how some things can have more calories then what you should have in 3 days. And we consume it in one meal or snack. CRAZY!

I'm starting to feel better and get the energy I need back..so here's to a strong finish to this week and an even better weekend! Are you with me? :)

Weight loss: -1 pound

Total Weight Loss: -108 pounds.

Turn that frawn upside down...

Sorry that I'm blogging a little later then normal. I actually went to write this first thing but I realized that I had nothing but complaining to talk about. I woke up this morning down on myself for whatever reason, being frustrated with certain people...not to worry it's no one reading this, beginning to questions certain things going on in my life right now....then I heard the news. It was enough for me to stop the "poor me" and "why me" thoughts and realize that right now 33 people and 33 families where given a second chance..a chance to see their loved ones again and the opportunity to touch lives. I've been checking on and off about the progress they are making to get all the minors out and the pictures and reactions make my heart leap and the tears fill my eyes. We take so much for granted. So much! And it's times like this that make me disgusted with how I feel and think sometimes, that I get wrapped up in "I" and that's not what it's about. It's not about me, it's about those around me, what am I bring to the table to make someone else life better today...makes you think.

So...I've always been told if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. Today I realized that all those things I can't say...it's not worth it. Rejoicing with those who have received great news, crying with those who hurt, listening to those who need to speak and praying for those around me, that's what it's all about. I haven't felt that good this week, chalk it up for the time of year, but when I don't feel well I tend to turn inward as I think most of us do. I'm OK with that, because if it wasn't for that...I wouldn't of had the chance to realize the bigger picture today...once again it's not about me.

Care for one another!

Weight loss: 0

Total weight loss: -107 pounds.

Where have I been....

Boy...it's been a blah few days. Good news, last night my brother and his wife welcomed their first child into this world! Elle Ann 7 pounds, 12 oz and 22 inches long. Mommy and baby are doing well. Very excited about this news, makes all the other not so good things going on seem not important. :) She's a blessing and I can't wait to meet her. GOD is great all the time!

I've been sick for the last few days. Flu I believe. I'm tired of being tired and sick. I can't remember the last time that I was sick like this and back to back. Though this week was way worse then last week. I haven't had much of an appetite, I have had peach jello and water...sounds exciting doesn't it. I am hoping that soon I'll start to feel better. Today is a little better, but I am just taking it easy. Because of being sick I was home yesterday and between sleeping and watching TV, there was a show on about people with addictions to food. Pretty crazy stuff, I watched one show and that was enough for me. But this kid, 24 actually, all he had been eating for the last 2 years was pizza. That's all he could eat and he went on this show to help him break this habit. The Dr. on the show did all these tests and showed this kid what was happening to his body because he was only eating that...lets just say that it made me sick to my stomach what was happening to him. He was going to die if he didn't change his ways. Just like everything, to much of something is never a good thing. Once again, we have the control to change the habits and lifestyles if we really want to. If the desire is great, we will do it.

Getting better one day at a time.

Weight loss: -3 pounds

Total Weight loss: -107 pounds.